Being overseas...

Being overseas for a long time is tough. Indeed I have sort off gotten used to the french culture and lifestyle, but at times I do miss home. In fact, I treasure home even more. 

Today's flight was really bad. Before I left my room this morning, I knelt down, and asked God to guide me. He did. Without him, I would completely gone bonkers and just gave up on the mission. Yes, it is only the start and I'm finding prbs?! I know...I do not know what to say myself, but I'm telling this to the devil. "I will not give up. My God has always helped me and you will not stand in my way because I have him as my pilot!" The flight was bad, but the instructor was really compassionate enough to give me a pass. I was relieved and really grateful. I knew I didn't deserve a pass...but instructor was understanding enough to give it to me. The wind was extremely strong, we were flying close to our limits, the drift was unbelievable...weather conditions was bad. But at the 2nd last leg of my flight, my mind snapped and I lost focus...I was lost in my head. Now that was my biggest mistake. I thank God for guiding us and protecting us on this flight. Weng's mission was cancelled after that as the weather got worse and we had to head back. 

As I came back...I was disappointed with myself. Ever since I came to France, I realised that I'm a person that put alot of pressure on myself and have high expectations. I must change that. It is good to put pressure and expect much, but I can't go to both extremes. As I walked back to my room...I thought of how nice it would be if I could see my dad and share with him about my flight. Like a son to his father. And him sitting there, just listening to me and telling me as long as I gave my best...he is glad for me, and always constantly reminding me of how God was so evident in my route through the air force....indeed God didn't bring me here to do badly. 

Sam, you got to pick yourself up. A bad flight? Yes. But a flight which you learnt alot? Definitely YES. Mistakes are meant to be made as this stage of the training and you have to pick yourself up and work harder. Remember what Mr. Pascal said when you asked how to face pilots who look down on WSO(s) ? His reply was " YOU FIGHT! And you do that by WORKING HARD and PROVING to them you KNOW your stuff!"

So Sam, look up. If flying was so easy, what challenge is there? Your Dream? Fighter Pilot? Fighter WSO? Then you got to work hard. Theres no easy way out. You work! Your math is poor? Then you work! Manage your time well and work.

Lord, guide me and watch over me. Thank you. Friends, keep me in prayers...I'll give my best.