Significance Through Relationships - By Rev. Kong Hee

Significance Through Relationships

by Rev. Kong Hee

An average Singaporean is estimated to live about 28,105 days in his lifetime. That means if you get to live to your 70th birthday, you would have spent: 23 years sleeping, 17 years working, 11 years watching, 6 years traveling, 6 years eating, 3 years getting ready, 3 years going to church.
But really, is this what a successful or a significant life is all about? There are three things we can do with our lives-we can spend our lives, we can waste our lives or we can invest our lives.

I have a suggestion on how you can have the greatest use of your life --- by investing it in something that will outlive you! And that's what I call a legacy. A legacy is something which we deposit into this life that will outlast us for generations to come.

Whether or not we are conscious of it, throughout our days, we are constantly exchanging our lives for something else.

Consider this: If you give a couple of hours of your life to a movie, you're in reality exchanging your life for that movie, because your time is your life.

Contemplate further: every dollar you spend on earth, you can always get it back. But the moment you spend your time on something, that time is gone forever.

So time is our most valuable possession. And that is why we need to ask ourselves, how are we using our time? When you're gone, what do you want to be remembered for? Or will you be remembered at all?

Will You Be Remembered?

It is a universal desire to be remembered for something. We all want to leave behind a legacy, a mark in this world and all of us want to feel like we've made some kind of significant contribution with our lives.

And over the centuries, many have managed to do so. Take William Shakespear for instance. His works outlived him. Or Leonardo Da Vinci. Many people still admiring his works today. Run-Run Shaw built the Shaw Tower that is named after him and foundations like The Nobel Foundation and the Lee Foundation are also named after their creators.

However most of us, however, do not have the money or resources to do similar acts as such. So what is there for us to do to leave behind a legacy?

The truth is, success is not a guarantee that people will remember you. The moment you set a goal and achieve it, somebody will eventually beat your record and surpass your goal!

Let me ask you a question: Who was the richest man in the world during the year 1950? 1960? 1970? 1980? We don't remember.

But does the name Mother Theresa ring a bell? Of course. We may not remember the richest men in the world or the top scorers in your school but you do remember the lady who once lived among the poorest people in India! Why is it so? Because she did something significant in her life. She made a difference in her world. In essence, success does not guarantee us a legacy. Significance does!

If you live only for success like most people do, you'll be a very frustrated person because you'll reach a certain goal and you think, "I did it!"

But weeks later, the feeling wears off. So you'll go in search of another goal, another challenge. It is a vicious circle that will never end.

A Change Of Mind-Set

Therefore, we must change our mind-set in life-we need to move from success to significance. When we move in that direction, we will be able to leave behind a legacy that will outlive ourselves.

The key to being significant is to be a blessing to others. Don't be a taker, be a giver! Give your life, your time, your energy and your talents to help other people become successful, happy and fulfilled.

Think about it, apart from the fact that He was the Son of God, why was Jesus the most significant person in world history? In fact, His impact was so great that CNN's most famous interviewer Larry King once said that the one person he desires to interview most is Jesus Christ!

Jesus was able to live a legacy that has impacted billions of people in the last 2,000 years because He freely gave Himself to all mankind.

Galatians 1:3-4 states "... and our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father ..."

And Galatians 2:20 also said "... and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

God is a Giver, never a taker! If you want to move from success to significance, you must decide to be a blessing to others!

Take Abraham for example. By the age of 50, he was already a very successful man in the land of Ur. He was wealthy, influential and powerful. But God came to Abraham one day and challenged him, "Abraham, you'll never find real happiness, fulfillment and significance ... until you become a blessing to others!"

It is great to be successful and all the more if you are finding success through Biblical wisdom and principles. However, we should take it the next level and move from success to significance by being a blessing to others!

Being A Blessing To Other People

What does it take to be a blessing to others? It takes skills. Many successful people are so poor at relating to people, they hardly have any friends. They are so awkward that they don't know what to say, how to say or even how to behave.

Therefore God gives us the entire Bible to teach us how to relate to others, how to treat one another, how to speak to one another and how to behave in the presence of one another. We all need to master the art of loving. In fact, the art of loving is what the Bible is all about. The Word of God is simply about loving God and loving others. There are three things we can do in order to be a blessing to others.

1. SERVE one another.
"But Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, "You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. "Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. "And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." Mark 10:42-45

There are many ways we can bless others. We can help shift furniture in the house, help paint their house or even help them by just offering them a listening ear.

One of the first sermons I ever heard as a Christian is the one on "JOY."-Jesus Others, Yourself. If we arrange them in that order, the joy of the Lord will surely flow.

A church should never be full of grumpy, grouchy, lonely, sulking, depressed Christians. Unhappy Christians have not entered into the joy of serving others and lack of opportunities can never be the reason because there are needs everywhere. So let's find a need and meet it!

When you start serving one another, not for the sake of recognition, not for monetary gain, but for Jesus' sake, you will start to become a person of great significance.

2. GIVE to others.
Giving is a gesture of love. Let's be generous with our time, gifts and money! The definition of love is this: benefiting OTHERS at the expense of SELF. The Bible tells us not to be financially tight with people who are in need.

"If you have a friend who is in need of food and clothing, and you say to him, 'Well, good?bye and God bless you; stay warm and eat hearty,' and then don't give him clothes or food, what good does that do?" James 2:15-16 (TLB)

Do be generous with people and remember when we give, we must give good gifts --- not what you cannot use anymore. And for those who give fresh fruit baskets, here's a tip - GIVE FRESH FRUIT! I once had a fruit basket given to me filled with fruit that were turning bad and it was not a nice feeling.

And here's another tip: be extra generous with the people you love. You can give without loving but you can never love without giving.

And the thing we should never, ever do is to give with a "CATCH." Manipulation is the surest way of destroying a relationship. Jesus says that when you sow your seed, that seed must die. You should let it go and never give with a catch!

If you really have the heart to bless, we should give without expecting anything in return. That is why the Bible teaches that Christians should never lend money to fellow Christians with earning interest in mind.

We should remember that the Bible says when we give to the poor, we are lending to the Lord. So, go ahead, and expect your reward from God, but give generously to others without a catch. .

3. ESTEEM others.
One of the most powerful verses in the Bible is found in
Philippians 2:3 "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."

Let's face it. We are living in a very negative, dishonoring, cynical world where we are more comfortable pulling down one another than esteeming one another! In Australia, they call this the "tall poppy" syndrome. If some people are seen rising up, everybody wants to chop him down!

So, when we see a rich man, it's a common reaction to exclaim, "Ah, he must have become 'filthy' rich through corruption." Or if they see a beautiful girl, they go, "Ha, must have done plastic surgery!" And when they hear a novel idea, they laugh, "Well, it's just a pie in the sky ... dream on, brother!"

So, how should we esteem one another?
There are four principles to take note of.

A. Always honor people properly.
"Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger as sisters, with all purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2

The Bible warns us clearly to never shout or rebuke our parents any older man or woman. We should never speak rudely or harshly to them. In fact, the 5th commandment says that if we dishonor our parents, our lives will be cut short!

Whenever we get hurt, the first instinct is to spite those who hurt us by uncovering their weaknesses. However, when we sow dishonor to our elders, we will reap the judgment of God.

One such example is the story of Noah and his son Ham, who shamed his father publicly. That really upset God and Ham's descendants came under a curse.

Honoring one another is a crucial principle in the Kingdom of God. Here's another important principle:

B. Never demean those you love.
When you demean a person, the value of that person goes down in his eyes and in everybody's eyes! I've met husbands and wives who thrive on demeaning each other publicly. We should never demean our spouse publicly-nor in private!

C. Be generous in praising people.
Now, when you praise, we should be extravagant in our praise, for measured praise is no praise at all. The Apostle Paul always lavished in his praise for the churches he ministered to. It is always, "I thank God always for you ... you guys are awesome ... what wonderful reports I have been receiving!"

Some people are scared into thinking that praise lavished on a person might make him proud. Well, let's not try to be God. Let God keep them humble. Our job is just to be kind and build people up with our words.

There are some who fear that lavish praise equates flattery. Well, it's not when we are sincere about what we are saying. There was once a young aspiring writer in the 19th century, who had everything going against him. He had only attended school for four years and his father was in jail for unpaid debts.

He stuck labels on jars to earn a living and slept in a rat-infested warehouse in the slums of London. However, he persisted in his writing and would sneak out at night to post his manuscripts to editors so that no one would laugh at him.

His stories were repeatedly rejected and turned down. But one day, just one was finally accepted. The editor who accepted that manuscript praised the young man's writing.

That night, the young man walked the streets of London dazed... with tears rolling down his cheeks. His name was Charles Dickens.

One man's praise got that boy going. One man's praise changed a young man's life who later went on to become one of the greatest writers in history.